holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
