This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
