So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
