bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
