with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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