So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Mom said you looked used
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
