i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize