this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize