Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
