is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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