Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
