His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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