It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
