So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
