i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize