This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
