I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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