used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
