I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
