I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
