we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
