Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
