im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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