she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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