Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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