i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
