Your mouth is God's brothel.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Your penis caused this!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
