Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize