Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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