At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
