Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
