Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
