just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So vagazzling was a success
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
