just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
