I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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