So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
and she was petting her beer can
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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