Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
