Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We have started to decorate penises.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
