you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
it was like eating out sand paper
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
