I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
