I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
