i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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