got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
