we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
