I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
