Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I looked at my own cervix.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
