I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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