Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
