i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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