He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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