i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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