I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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