drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize