don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
