He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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