I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize