Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
