After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
