yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize