Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
No stitches, just platelets and will power
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
