hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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