you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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